All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
