My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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