so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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