I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
