In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
