The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
