either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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