how can u be prego again
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
