my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize