I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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