You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
