My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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