I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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