i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
sex in a hospital.. check
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
