did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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