I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
