i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
