Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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