I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
