Its about making memories worth repressing
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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