try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
