You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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