it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
