You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize