I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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