I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
