have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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