Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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