I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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