Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
