oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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