Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So drunk its hurt
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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