what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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