WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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