I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
