I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize