I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
