i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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