Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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