i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
