Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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