You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
