the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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