you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Randomize
