i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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