Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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