; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize