Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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