can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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