Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
