i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
