why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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